Indecision is Hell, don’t go there! D is for Decision!

Indecision is Hell! Don’t go there!

This is a continuation of a series of blogs I am doing on what my Heart has taught me.

My Heart has taught me that Indecision is Hell and my Heart, in all its wisdom, says”Don’t go there!”

And if you do find yourself in Indecision Hell, get out as quickly as you can and

Follow your Heart home!

Over the years I have become very aware of the territory I now call “Indecision Hell”. I cannot say I am proud of that.  My creative imagination identified the king of Indecision Hell….well…there is some disagreement between them about who is actually king….or even the name! But I drew a picture of him so that you might be warned! He (she? can’t decide!) is a bit of a silly goof when viewed through the eyes of loving!
I now have a low tolerance for remaining in “indecision hell” as it is exhausting!  And often far from colorful, fun or humorous, it can be depressing!  I have found a way out which I would like to share with you.

Indecision is hell!

Indecision is a state of mind reinforced by emotions. You can make a decision using only your mind to do it. The problem with that is that if the decision is not lined up with your Heart’s desire or purpose then you will end up unhappy with the outcome and a return ticket to “indecision hell”.

If you choose to spend more time in Indecision Hell, You might want to color your own 3 headed dragon!

D-INDECISION-DRAGON-coloring-page

Costs of Indecision

There are costs to remaining in indecision. Here are a few I have identified, though I am sure there are more:

being stuck, immobilized or at an impasse; procrastination; loss of self-respect and self-esteem; loss of personal power; possible loss of opportunity; anxiety, dread, depression, confusion, doubt, loss of self-confidence, time wasted. Tension builds from indecision leading to fatigue and loss of energy, stress, self-judgment and self-doubt.

Benefits of Indecision

And there are some benefits that sometimes are very unconscious but also very powerful. We might deny them and it takes courage (that is where the heart comes in handy) to face the often unconscious benefits.  Here are some possible benefits:

a safe haven from choosing and having to produce, be evaluated and judged, success or failure; self-protection, short term relief of tension…until indecision builds into tension, avoidance of responsibility and consequences of actions, avoidance of something difficult that might challenge core issues, self-esteem and self-confidence; supports self-concept somehow – perhaps a negative self-concept or belief; avoidance of commitment; escape from feared responsibility; an excuse for poor performance or delay and it buys time, if needed; (a form of procrastination); indecision leads to the excitement of drama and crisis; there can be increased euphoria, relief and sense of power when decisions are finally made (a drama queen/king strategy); create drama and get attention.

Symptoms of Indecision

There are many symptoms and side-effects to being in indecision hell. Some of those can be: anxiety, overwhelm, worrying, irritability, depression, sadness, anger, mood swings, feeling insecure, confusion, forgetfulness, distractibility, guilt, inability to concentrate, headache, clenched jaws, tooth grinding, stomach upset, angry outbursts, decreased productivity, perplexity, procrastination, hemming and hawing, vacillating, avoiding,  etc…

The Way Out – Slay the Dragon!

Once you have acknowledged where you are, there are some steps you can take to begin the journey out of indecision hell.

The Indecision Dragon lives in the mind.  Slay the indecision dragon by letting your heart lead you!  The Heart recognizes the highest good for you and others and will find the kindest path through indecision and back Home. 

The Heart may slay the dragon by disarming or disabling it with humor!

  One definition of “slay” is “to amuse or impress”! 

Suggested steps:

1. Admit and accept where you are.

1.  Stop trying to force the decision. This is similar to the finger trap theory solution where you stop struggling and cooperate with what is.

    

2. Take charge of your mind.  The mind is a great tool but a poor master and can be a 3 headed dragon!  Cooperate with how the mind is designed.  Identify, with your mind, what your fears and concerns are that might be blocking you. Use your mind as a positive tool to solve the problem.   The mind is actually doing its job coming up with solutions to a problem.  You can use it to evaluate and weigh the cost and benefits of each option.  What an amazing tool!  Cooperate with the design of the mind.

3. Tell yourself, your mind, to focus on your Heart.  Place your hands on your physical heart as a reference point.  Observe your heart beating and observe your breath.  A simple tool is to breathe in and out to a count of 4. (Count to 4 slowly as you breathe in and count to 4 slowly as you breathe out.) Do this 3 times while quietly listening and observing.  By doing this you use your mind to come into a single focus and begin to bring your heart, breath (body) and mind into alignment, into harmony, coherence and calm.  Heart center is a much calmer and quieter place where indecision can melt and decisions become simpler and clearer.

4. Listen to your Heart.  Ask your Heart what it really wants and listen to your heart….no decision…just listen, really listen! Your Heart has priorities if you listen. It knows what is best and the highest good for all parts of you.  This not the “lusting heart” nor the emotional heart.  This is the deep, quiet voice of the Spiritual Heart.  Give yourself time to really listen.  Wait, watch and listen for the answer to come because if you are truly asking from a deep sincere place, the answer will come.  You just need to be quiet enough and open enough to hear, to see to receive the answer from the place of wisdom that lives deep within you.

The Decision

D-Decision-coloring-page

1. The decision may be to wait. If you do not have enough information to make a decision, then the decision is to “wait”. It is ok to wait. It is ok to say…”I don’t have enough information to make the decision” or “I am not ready”. This is not indecision.  This is a decision, for now.  If you can, go get the information you need!
2. Choose one option and check it out.  Lean into one direction and you will get feedback from others or your own mind, emotions and Heart. In my experience, you will get feedback pretty quickly about the direction you are leaning into.  And that may be the information you are needing.
3. Focus on what is in your hand today.  Indecision is often about the future and options.  By accepting what is in your hand now,  being here now and cooperating with what is, the decision is to be present now and that makes it easier to see and recognize the next step that is right in front of you which is being on purpose.

And you may wonder why you ever chose to enter Indecision Hell.

The decision to follow your Heart can simplify your life and bring you to a more fulling and higher purpose.

Happy Slaying to you! 

Always Follow Your Heart in All Ways!